Doing it alone is not strong (yet we still kid ourselves that it is).

‘Hey, great to connect…’ Have you typed the phrase, ‘Great to connect’ on social media recently? Has someone sent it your way to mark a new addition to your network? The word ‘connect’ has got me thinking about the importance of relationships in life, work, business and leisure.

It is indeed, ‘Great to connect.’ But we need more. It is crucial that you feed your life with meaningful connections and cultivate relationships that allow for your growth.

But this deep connection and friendship is not the norm. Of concern is that an absence of friendship leads to an increased sense of loneliness, increased risk of illness and a greater prevalence of mental health issues (BBC Science Focus). This isn’t just warm, fuzzy feeling time.

From 30 years old, the number of friendships (particularly in men), drop off scarily. Writer Max Dickins has written a brilliant book exploring this called, Billy No Mates. It is well worth a read (Billy No Mates – Max Dickins).

So ask yourself, ‘Who am I running with?’

Running mates

Five years ago, when we were considering relocating across the country, this phrase resonated. With three children under five, this was a significant transition point. Naturally, we sought advice from trusted friends.

Trusted friends. These are the ones that would affirm your decision to pursue a new job opportunity when they sense misplaced doubt rising. They are also the ones that give important critical feedback… like the times when you need to be asked whether the tight flamingo shirt is ‘really the look you are going for?’

Friendship is critical for well-being and keeping us in the right lane.

💡 During transition points, this type of input is like the lane assist button on a dashboard. Seek it out. It will:

• provide a platform to safely share ideas that aren’t yet concrete.
• help turn excitement into conviction, and then into plans.
• bring challenge and new perspective where needed.

At the point of my family’s decision, I vividly remember the prompt of a close friend who said,

‘My big thing is that you find people who know you and will be running with you. How are you going to be intentional about this?’

Brilliant.

This was a beautiful example of the connections that we need. We need this at key junctures in life, but also consistently throughout it. And, it is not just the individual who needs this – we must also consider who is running with our family, business or organisation?

Lone rangers we are not.

You and I need running mates.

Ask yourself, ‘Who am I running with?’

When and who?

Your running mates change. Circumstance and context will determine the nature of the connection needed.

Think about who has come alongside you, or who you have leant upon, (or vice versa), at different times. Running mates fall into three categories.

Who are they?

1️⃣ Time after time: Your daily running mates.

• Think about those who you share everyday life with.
• Those who act as a sounding board for, ‘What do you think about this?’ questions.
• Those who you grab a drink or take a walk with.
• Those who check in with a, ‘How are you?’

Can you name 3 of these connections?

2️⃣ Timed to perfection: Running mates that appear at key times.

• There are people who play a big part in your life during key periods.
• Think of those news reports of a marathon runner helping a stranger over the line. Life can put great people in our path when we need it.
• Those who are journeying through a similar life transition.
• Those who have already journeyed through this point.

Are you at a transition point? Do you need to seek someone out? Are you in a position to be this person for someone else?

3️⃣ Timeless: Your enduring ‘go to’ running mates in times of need.

• These are the people where a shared history has bound you together.
• Those diamonds who see through and challenge, ‘I’m ok’ responses.
• Those where contact doesn’t need regularity for it to be meaningful.
• Those where the conversation is easy because the context is unsaid.

Do you need to get a date in with these enduring running mates? Do you need to carve out some time with those who know you best?

Be intentional

So, get your metaphorical running shoes on (or literal ones if that’s your thing), be intentional, and invest in this crucial area of life.

It starts something like this, ‘Fancy catching up next week?’

Matthew, Founder of Wood Writes Words